Baby Needs a New Pair of Shoes!!!

So anyways, last night whilst working on page 3 of my graphic blog, I realized that slowly but surely, the inclusion of my loving homage to Golden Age comics, "Into the Bleach" was quickly becoming a ratings bust.

Like Shakira's hips, pictures don't lie.

I guess my idea of a wise-cracking superhero that gains his powers by virtue of drinking a sentient bottle of bleach- then goes head to head with a racist bleach magnate known as The Kleansman is just too far edgy and ahead of its time. Either that or it's just really only funny to me. Rest assured, readers, Bleach is dead until I can find a way to retool and reinvent him in a way that not only "doesn't suck" but generates viewership for my "public" IE, the three or four of you that actually read my site. As you may or may not have noticed, I've got ads on my site now. Ads that generate revenue for me if you actually click on my blog. Yes, I've gone corporate. And yes, there are literally dozens of dollars to be made here.

And Bleachy, I love you, but you just aren't paying the bills.

So, now you're dead to me.

So, I think to myself... What DOES pay the bills? What DO people like? Well, sex sells. But, seeing as how I usually can't even give it away, it probably won't sell for me. Moody depressing blogs sell... If you're a hot young girl of an indeterminable age. Which I'm totally not. Babies sell...

Wait a minute...

I HAVE A BABY!!!

Although not a lot of current pictures of her.

This is Liesi. Laura wanted to name her Georgia Sapphire, but I informed her that as of this point, they don't make diapers in the G-String style. She was also disheartened to hear that I was profoundly against putting a pole in the middle of my infant daughter's crib. So, she begrudgingly settled on her second choice and forewent giving her a name that would pidgeonhole my young daughter into a career in exotic dancing.

At this moment, She's about three and a half years old and about 36 lbs of mind-numbing, teeth-rotting cute. And she's slowly but surely, wrecking the place up. The other day I sat her down in front of her favorite television show about a latch key kid that goes on dangerous adventures through the jungle, who can't remember simple directions, who talks to inanimate objects and whose only supervision is an emotionally fragile monkey who wears a red pair of boots. I left to go grab a quick shower and when I returned, Liesi had found a red marker and a pair of scissors.

As it stands, my baby girl, who up until this point had had gorgeous tresses of flaxxen blond hair now has a mullet. A mangy sort of thing with red streaks on one side. She looks like Cyndi Lauper just coming off a three day bender. And if I had the money, I'd buy a digital camera and post a hilarious side by side comparison.

But, Damn it!! People just aren't reading my BLOG!!!!

Right now, I can hear Liesi in the dining room. There's a steady piddling sound on the floor that I pray is from a sports bottle. And now it's stopped. Now I hear splashing. UGH.

And so, I leave you with this... A birthday card for my Ex's mother's birthday, using Liesi's image. I hope it goes over as well with you guys as it did with her.