My Movie/Novel Pitch

So anyways, I've been out of touch for a while. To be honest, been completely busy doing nothing. Nothing but watching sweet 1980's-1990's animated film classics. That's right, Liesi's entered the ever dreaded Disney princess phase. And it got me to thinking... Many of the main characters in these stories are horrible bitches. That's right. Ariel and Belle in particular live in wonderful little communities one under the sea and one in quiet "provincial" France.

What's more, they live in a world where it's totally common place for large scale, wildly choreographed musical numbers to break out. Man, I don't know about you, but I'd be a little less inclined to bitch about my lot in life if I got to take part in chorus lines each and every day. I'd have much better luck with the ladies if all I had to do to truly win the heart of my beloved was to sing a haunting and evocative song from my heart.

No, it's not enough. These women have bigger dreams. And that's fine. But, they're pretty uncouth about it. Calling your home a "little town full of little people" seems pretty scathing to me. And it got me thinking about a character concept for a fairy tale that I've been tossing around in my head.

What if instead of a town filled with salt of the earth blue collar bumpkins and one idealistic dreamer wanting to take on the world, the ratio was reversed? Imagine if you will, an entire fantasy village filled with singing, dancing dynamos each with their own agendas, hopes and dreams...

And one guy who just wants to work and live a simple life. A guy without a lick of the magic sonatic skills that all of his fellow citizens possess. Imagine the frustration of having to live in such a group, all the while realizing that you yourself are not special, not chosen and utterly remarkable in your lack of remarkability. Being called a retard. No, not as in mentally retarded. As in reh-tard... Like a break in a musical composition. And knowing that try as you might, you'll never be more than an extra in the grand production that is your day to day life.

Now imagine that town being informed of an oncoming attack, be it by dragon, by army or what have you. The town rallying behind one massive song of war... Until someone else comes along with another song. And then another. And then another. All plans of survival. All well-intentioned and expertly sung. All wasting precious time as our hero goes about trying to simply explain that the best course of action is to simply run. Imagine those cries of common sense falling upon deaf ears. And imagine the sadness as our hero manages to get out at the last possible second... Alone.

An entire town filled with spectacular heroes and heroines, cut down in the blink of an eye simply because no one could put their ego aside to cooperate. Our hero would journey forth, trying to find his place in the world, not seeking adventure, mind you. Just seeking a regular 9-5 in a quiet little burg. Just trying to forget the tragedy. Now, as he ventures forth, he's finally cued in on the fact that he IS in fact special. And was placed in the magical village as a babe as a precautionary measure... Hidden from a dark sorcerer trying to avert a dark prophecy.

But, he wants none of it. He just wants to be normal. Unspectacular. Hell, he'd learned to live with it all these years. Never had people give him so much of a sideways glance except to tell him how plain and boring he was. He runs away and finds a new life working as a valet to a prince of a kingdom. A prince who's impressed by his honesty and common sense. In this adult fairy tale, (And yes, I do intend this to be a bit more of a risque fractured fairytale) his best friends are the kindhearted prince who longs for a life of adventure... The captain of the guard, a fantastically muscled and fit man who'd completely oblivious to the appreciative glances he gets from all of the maidens in the court.... And the Prince's Sage a lovable old fool, a magician who gleans his power by inhaling the fumes of a sacred herb and conjuring figments of his imagination into reality... Usually edible figments, mind you.

All is right in the kingdom for a while until after being a widower for years, The King decides to remarry. And yes, as per the usual, the bride to be is a horrible mistress of darkness who plans to rule the kingdom with an iron fist. Her vizier and lover has informed her that the only man standing in her way was murdered long ago once a certain singing village was purged. The prince and his pals naturally catch on that the queen apparent is an evil hag and after witnessing her totally boning her vizier are all set to tell daddy... So, naturally they're not killed. Just sent very, very far away via magic, hopefully keeping them out of the way until the day of the nuptials....

And thus the quest begins. A race against time to save a far off land.

It's a rough idea, people. Let me know what you think.